Loving Hate

Warning: Strong Girl/girl content.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." -- Neil Gaiman


/You've hurt me enough. You won't hurt me again./ Determined, Willow looked down the canyon, her hair whipping around her face wildly, mildly irritating her. But she could not really be bothered to be irritated, she had been dulled to a point where nothing mattered anymore. Nothing. Especially not Kiera, with her lies. With her kisses of hate, and her 'I love you's that held nothing but malice behind them.

Willow blinked, then looked up to the clear night sky. It was so pretty, yet scary. The sky was so vast out there in the nothingness of the canyons... With the stars, and the full moon. It made her feel like a small, defenseless child. Kiera made her feel small and helpless too, but with the sky... The sky filled her with awe and fear, though more like respect, while Kiera only filled her with fear and hate. It was such a beautiful night to die on though. Willow decided that choosing her twenty-fourth birthday to die on had been a good idea.

The wind pulled at her hair again, and Willow drew her little navy blue shawl around her shoulders. She loved that shawl. Though not quite like she loved Kiera...

For a moment, Willow felt like she should back up and walk away from the edge of the cliff, but no. She had to do this. She could not return to that manipulative bitch Kiera.

The wind stopped, and she took a moment to smooth down her black skirt, another article of clothing that she loved, because when the wind blew, or when she twirled around, it swirled around her legs, and it felt heavenly. Like Kiera's kisses...


"What are you doing?" Kiera looked up from her book, sitting on a bench in the park. For a moment, there was what seemed almost like disaproval on her face, but it faded to amusment, though more the kind of amusement a parent had when their little kid did something silly.

"Twirling around!" Willow gleefully spun in circles, a look of almost childish delight on her face. "Come on, spin with me Kiera! It's fun! Put down the book!" She stopped spinning long enough to look at Kiera, then continued. "We're only nineteen, loosen up!"

Kiera sighed, and looked at the book, then at the little twirling, brown haired teenager in a silly, long black skirt in front of her. Smiling, she got up and twirled too, slowly at first, then faster, and soon the two of them were twirling foolishly in the middle of the park, ignoring the fact that they were sort of in public, but not really since there were very few people there.

Suddenly, Kiera stopped, and Willow stopped too. Curious, but dizzy, Willow walked up to Kiera, faltering slightly from her dizziness. "Why'd you stop?" She asked Kiera.

Kiera's eyes twinkled, and she tilted her head to one side. "I want you to kiss me."

Willow blicked, and in her moment of confusion, managed to fall over into the grass on her back. "Ow..."

Kiera laughed and lay down by Willow. "Fine, I'll do it." She leaned over the other girl and kissed her briefly, then sat up and looked at her watch. "Time to go home." And she stood, getting up and walking away, but pausing after a few steps and looking over at Willow. "C'mon." She said, and like a puppy, Willow stood and eagerly followed her, still very much mesmorized by the tender kiss.


But it'd all been an act... Kiera had merely been looking for a puppet. A helpless, naive soul like Willow to manipulate. Willow'd been a quiet person with lots of her own personal problems. Her mother had died when she was fourteen, and she had never been all that close to her father... Her low grades and her lack of any sort of social status did not help all that much. But she had built up a personal defense. Over all the many years of being repeatedly hurt as a child, Willow had slowly built up emotional barriers, preventing people from getting too close to her, or even seeing the real girl inside. Until Kiera... That bitch managed to seduce Willow, to make Willow fall head over heels in love with her, and then slowly, she appraoched Willow with a collar and a leash, and while befriending her, slipped it around her neck without her noticing, and enslaved her. And poor Willow had been taken as a hostage by her love for Kiera, she could not leave no matter what Kiera did to her... At least, she could not until now.


"Willow? You there?"

Surprised, Willow snapped her head up, but she curled further under her covers, hiding herself, hoping Kiera would leave. What was Kiera doing in her house anyway? She never came to her house... As a matter of fact, Kiera never really talked to Willow. They were both Seniors at the same high school, yes, but they only had one class together, and they didn't see much of each other. So why was Kiera suddenly showing up in her house? And at such a bad moment? Willow had just gotten yelled at by her father, which brought up another question, how'd Kiera get in if her father wasn't home (he'd stormed out).

Puzzled, yet determined not to be seen like that, Willow tried to make herself as small as she could underneathe her covers, hoping that by some miracle Kiera would not see her.

The door to Willow's small room creaked open, and the girl shivered in fright under her thick, navy blue covers with yellow stars. Before she knew what to do, Willow found herself resubmerged into the world as Kiera pulled back the covers and looked at her. "What's wrong?" Kiera asked, concern in her voice.

"Nothing. Go away..."

But Kiera would not go away, and Willow found herself opening her heart to this strange, blonde haired, green eyed goddess. She found Kiera breaking down her barriers one by one, and gaining the little brunette's trust. Before Willow knew what was happening, her and Kiera weren't just friends. They were more. They were much more. At least, Kiera was much more to Willow...


Now, Willow was going to break the emotional restraint Kiera had put on her in the only way she knew. The tiny, just over five foot girl was tired of the other ruling over her, treating her like an inferior child, though they were the about same age. For five years, five long years, Willow had dealt with that blonde haired devil dictating her every move.


"Willow, we're going on a roadtrip." Kiera said, brushing her own, long hair. No noise other than the soft strokes of the brush against her hair was heard, so she stopped, and looked over her shoulder at the girl cowering on the bed. "Willow?" She said sharply.

A muffled cry was heard, and Willow looked up, her puppy brown eyes on the edge of tears. Yet bravely, she held the tears back, because she knew if she cried, then Kiera would hurt her. Kiera hated it when she cried... "Yes Kiera?" Willow's voice was meek, and the fear in her eyes was very aparant.

"I've packed your things already, go take a shower and then get something to eat." Kiera turned to face the quivering mess that was her pathetic girlfriend. A stern expression on her face, she marched over to the bed. "Move it!"

Willow let out a little cry and scampered off the bed, immediately running to the bathroom.

"Worthless girl..." Kiera muttered when she was gone, then returned to the mirror with a satisfied smile and continued brushing her beautful hair.


Despite her reminiscing of the hardships she went through for those past five years of her life, Willow had a smile on her face. Kiera was going to lose her pet. That was enough to make the abused girl happy. Slowly, she turned around so her back faced the edge of the cliff, and she spread out her arms. Knowing these were the last moments of her life, she savored the feel of of the rocky dirt beneath her bare feet, and the sliken touch of the wind against her skin. Briefly, she looked down at her carefully put together outfit, and at the baby blue spaghetti strap she was wearing. Her best friend, or rather, ex-bestfriend, had given it to her. Taylor had been such a sweetheart... A perfect friend, always there when she needed him... But Kiera had driven him away, and Willow hadn't heard from him since they both graduated from college.

Willow leaned back, taking her sweet time at doing this. She fell, her eyes fixated on the gorgeous sky. For a moment, she seemed to hang in the air before starting her sharp descent down to the merciless canyon below where her life would end. The cool night air rushed past Willow, and clothese and long brown hair seemed to almost flow in the wind, like clothes hung out to dry when a strong breeze ruffles them. At last, she hit hard rocky floor of the canyon with a sickening thud, though not quite a thud, more like a soft splat slash crunch from her bones, mainly her skull, cracking. From the hard impact, she died almost instantly with her eyes still open, the last thing they saw being night sky that she had admired so much. Although her contorted and half smashed body happened to be a rather grotesque sight, one could not help but notice the happy, *free* smile her face.